White with blue stripes

There's so much more that I don't remember about that day than I do. But what I do remember remains one of those precious little vignettes, there in the back of my mind for me to pull out every once in a while and ponder... and savor.

All in all, there were somewhere between 10 and 15 kids ranging in age from seven to 17 running around the house that day. My siblings, my cousins who were visiting for the day, a couple neighborhood kids, and her. She was a friend of one of the cousins. If you're familiar with large families, you understand the chaos. A lot of talking. Even more shouting and yelling. A lot of running around. Very short attention spans. My first notice of her was fleeting.

I had just come home for work. I walked into the back yard, into the middle of the family gathering. There was everybody. Adults drinking and talking. Kids running and screaming. And there she was. The two things that struck me were, one, she was a stranger. I had never seen her before. And two, she was wearing a top that belonged to my little sister. White with blue stripes, zip front, little hood that was purely for style. I noticed it because I always noticed when my sister wore it. It was a very cute top, and even then I had a thing for the 'zip-front, nothing underneath' look. The third thing I noticed was that she herself was very cute.

The afternoon went on. I couldn't begin to relate the interactions she and I had, but I'm sure you're very familiar with childhood flirting. The awkwardness. The uncertainty. The offhand remarks that are supposed to sound like innocuous conversation, but are actually screaming "please notice me."

By the time the sun went down and most every one had moved inside, she and I were looking for an excuse to be alone. "I'm going for a walk." "I'll go with you." A silent prayer that no one else wants to come along.

When we got back, we found a quiet place in the side yard. There were no chairs, so we sat on the grass. Several moments later, we were lying down. Her on her back, me beside her, on my side with one hand across her stomach.

The kisses were soft. We were still very unsure of the situation. We talked. Finally I worked up the courage. I moved my hand to the zipper and just sort of fingered it for a moment. She didn't say anything. I slowly lowered it. Still she didn't say anything. I kissed her, and as I did I reached in and placed my hand on her small breast.

Now she spoke. I don't remember the exact words but I do remember their meaning. "Please, no." I smiled. I know it was a disappointed smile. I said ok. I returned the zipper to it's original position. I kissed her again. She kissed me back. And then she said something else. She said the words that have stuck with me all these years. The words that are probably what's kept this memory alive for me and prevented it from becoming one of those lost moments of youth - gone and completely forgotten. She complemented me. She told me how 'really nice' I was. I asked what she meant and she said...

"Most boys don't stop the first time I ask them."